Ten Things Getting in the Way of Reading Currently

I'm linking up with That Artsy Reader Girl for another Top Ten Tuesday.

This week is a freebie. The topic of "things currently getting in the way of reading" was something I saw on another TTT freebie a while back, so I wanted to borrow it for today. I suppose this framing is rather negative, but it's a way of tying it into the central topic of reading. Since y'all really only know me as a reader, this is a chance to give you a glimpse into everything I'm doing when I'm not reading!

1. Parenting
I have 50% custody of my two kids, so on the weeks they're with me, my focus outside of work is entirely on them. I will usually listen to snippets of an audiobook while getting ready for bed and will read a few pages of a print book before going to sleep, but generally if they're around, they need my full attention, so I can't have my eyes on a page or headphones in my ears.

2. Medical appointments/coordination
This is, I suppose, a subset of parenting, but my 2-year-old has a disability that requires a lot of different health care providers, and for various reasons I handle about 90% of my kids' medical appointments as well as almost all the communication/coordination between my son's many different providers. (In the car the other day my 8-year-old wanted me to name all of them and we counted 10, which doesn't include his case manager or his in-home direct support provider.) I'm grateful that he has so much support, and also it requires a lot of work just to keep track of everything and make sure everyone has the relevant information.

3. Being a data analyst
I have a full-time job, which is working as a data analyst for an educational consulting non-profit. I love it — the work, the mission, the people I work with. But I have to record a minimum of 40 hours per week, which definitely cuts into my reading time! Thankfully I work from home, so I will pop in my AirPods when I take a bathroom break or go to the kitchen to grab some food, and I get through a chapter or two of my latest audiobook that way by the end of each day.

4. Owning/maintaining a home
I've been in my house for a little over a year now, and this is the first time I've owned my own home. There have been a lot of projects to do around the house, particularly in the first year, and while I can listen to books while I mindlessly weed my yard for hours, most things require concentration, strategy, and research, which mean they need my full attention.

5. Dancing
My non-reading life isn't all obligations and responsibilities! Once or twice a month I go to an event where there's line dancing and partner dancing, which I absolutely love. While most of the events include a line dance lesson, I've also been spending some of my free time watching YouTube videos to teach myself some of the other dances that come up throughout the evening. At the last event I went to, they played four different songs I knew the dances to, and it was so fun to be able to get out on the floor and join everyone!

6. Meeting new people
Between the pandemic, my divorce, and other people's life changes, a lot of my local friend group dispersed so that my support system dwindled significantly. Once my toddler was finally able to get vaccinated against COVID-19 last summer, I started cautiously venturing out to meet people IRL, via Meetup and apps and local Facebook groups. Although I'm not going to make any BFFs overnight, it's been really lovely to find other people with whom I click and start to build up those relationships.

7. Maintaining existing friendships
My energy hasn't all gone into meeting new people — I also spend a good amount of time exchanging Marco Polo videos with friends in other parts of the world, which has been a wonderful way to exchange advice and get moral support even from people who can't just drive over and babysit my kids or cook me a meal. And while a lot of my friends locally have been incredibly busy with their own kids or jobs or projects or life circumstances, I've still tried to do what I can to stay in touch, extend an invitation, or lend a helping hand.

8. Book clubs
This is definitely reading-adjacent, but the time I spend in book clubs is still time spent talking about books rather than reading them. And I'm in a lot of book clubs! There are two I've been part of for a decade, one of which I co-lead, and recently I decided to join two local queer book clubs to meet more queer people my age who also like reading. It turned out that one of those queer book clubs is actually two book clubs, with an in-person meeting and a virtual meeting each month reading completely separate books. So I'm technically in five now, which is only sustainable because the one I co-lead is every other month and I've given myself permission to pick and choose from among the other four each month. Mostly it comes down to which meetings I can make with my custody schedule and other obligations, but I'll also skip ones where it's going to be hard to get the book or I just don't want to read it for whatever reason.

9. TV shows
People who know me know that I almost never watch TV and movies, but the main exceptions to this are 1) adaptations of books and 2) Doctor Who. This past year I discovered the Disney+ adaptation of The Mysterious Benedict Society, which is one of my all-time favorite middle-grade series, and I devoured both the first and second seasons. I also loved the Netflix adaptation of Heartstopper and am very excited for the second season, and after someone reminded me of the existence of Agatha Christie's Poirot with David Suchet and Hugh Fraser (my favorite Christie audiobook narrator as I work my way through her complete works!), I've been watching those old episodes on DVDs from the library. Over the winter break I also caught up on Doctor Who, so I'm ready for the next special near the end of this year.

10. Sleep
I would love to still be back in the days of staying up until 1 a.m. to finish a good book, but given all of the above, I just can't manage that! Even on the weeks I don't have to get up early to get my kids ready for school, I try to get a full night's sleep whenever possible. A few weeks ago I stayed out past midnight with a couple of new friends from one of my Meetup groups, and boy was I feeling that for several days afterward! (Totally worth it, though.) Having a "quieter" or "drier" but still interesting book for my bedtime reading has helped me avoid the "just one more chapter" compulsion.

What makes up your life when you're not reading?

Looking back:
One year ago I was reading: Rising from Ash and The Interrupted Tale
Five years ago I was reading: Strangers in Their Own Land and The Stand
Ten years ago I was reading: You Can Adopt

Ten Book Recommendations for New Parents

I'm linking up with The Broke and the Bookish for another Top Ten Tuesday.

I missed the great revival of Top Ten Tuesday last week because I was linking up with Quick Lit, but I didn't want to pass up this first topic, so I'm getting to it a week late. I've been wanting to compile my recommendations for new parents in one place, and it seemed especially appropriate since many of the TTT hosts took a break due to new babies!

These ten books are divided up into sections based on when I think they're most helpful to read. Even if you've missed the window, I think they're still worth a read!

Before Birth

1. Baby Meets World by Nicholas Day
This overview of the history and science of child-rearing will show you that there are very few "wrong" ways to raise a child, so you don't need to panic about fundamentally damaging your child as long as you're doing your best.

2. The Science of Mom by Alice Callahan
This is a readable, scientifically grounded overview of the most controversial areas of parenting, from vaccinations to breastfeeding to co-sleeping. It'll make you feel more confident about sifting through the wide range of unsolicited advice you're inevitably going to receive.

The First 6 Months

3. Baby-Led Weaning by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett
I'm glad my best friend pointed me to this method for introducing solids. It's cheaper, easier, and more developmentally appropriate than feeding your kid sugary purees.

4. The Happy Sleeper by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright
I wish I'd read this book in my son's first six months, but unfortunately I was lulled into thinking he was an easy sleeper when he didn't have any problems his first two years. Then suddenly he developed a knack for pulling out every stalling technique in the book and pushing all our buttons, and we had no toolbox for dealing with it. Learn from my mistake and start developing your toolbox early!

Around 18 Months

5. Einstein Never Used Flashcards by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff
Right around the time you might start feeling the pressure to break out the flashcards, this book provides a nice reminder of all the ways in which kids learn through play, and gives you fun milestones to look for that you might not otherwise notice.

6. Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki
This potty training method came highly recommended and worked wonders for us. You have to be committed to the process, but it's so worth it. Read it when your kid's around 18 months and you can start looking for the first signs of readiness to start training.

2 Years and Up

7. Dear Mister Rogers, Does It Ever Rain in Your Neighborhood? by Fred Rogers
This isn't a parenting book per se, but I learned a lot in seeing how Mister Rogers responded to the wide variety of letters he received over the years and reading some of his commentary on those responses. He provides a nice model of how to answer your kids' questions with honesty and empathy.

8. Liberated Parents, Liberated Children by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
This is a classic parenting book that led to the even-more-classic follow-up, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. It provides a way to approach parenting that's both constructive and kind.

9. How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King
This recent publication co-authored by Adele Faber's daughter takes the techniques from Faber and Mazlish's classic books and focuses them on kids ages 2-7. Through example scenarios and concrete suggestions, they provide a toolbox of ways to deal with the challenges of parenting.

10. Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon
I need to reread this book, which provides a framework for identifying which communication methods are most appropriate for different situations with children. Along with the How to Talk... books, this gives parents a wide range of effective tools for parenting.

What parenting books would you recommend?

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